Day 21 – Scampering Around Trying to Sort My Life Out (A Filler Post & Rant)

Yesterday, I said I would be doing Snacks: part 2 today, but given the title, you can probably see where this is going.

Just as a heads up tomorrow will also be a filler one, since I am going to Ocean Park with some of my school friends, so won’t be back til late (and need to sleep earlier today), so if any of you are waiting for the snacks post, see you some time after day 23 (because I really need a few days of doing nothing and relaxing right now)!

On to the prompt! Which is…. * drum roll *

Scamper (July 2)!– (It showed up earlier than normal, so I can actually do today’s prompt, rather than yesterday’s one)


Scamper!

That word just about sums up what I’ve been doing for a while now.

Scampering from one project to another, one idea to the next.

Thought after thought fills my mind without pause, from the moment I wake up to the second my head hits the pillow. Even my dreams are sometimes filled with tense situations that ask – nay – demand my attention.

I’m being pulled 90 directions, trying to make the most out of “the best 4 years of my life”.

Trying to:

  • figure out how to apply for exchange
  • look for internships
  • decide my next semester’s classes
  • type up blog posts/Camp Nanowrimo
  • list textbooks on Carousell
  • catching up on books I need to read

On and on the to-do list grows…

But above all…

Trying to figure out what I want to do after I graduate university. 

It’s not a controlled run, where there is a goal in mind and a pace to be set.

It is a frantic grasping of straws, attempting everything at once and getting nowhere.

And I am EXAUHSTED.

Pure and simple.

Because I JUST DON’T KNOW!

I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know how or what I’ll get a job in (Ecology and History not really known for tons of jobs) and I don’t know what the future holds for me!

If I did, it would be simple.

Just complete the skill tree that leads to me following my career path (which at this point, is more a meandering stream). Unfortunately, it’s not.

The fear of the unknown causing is to dart off wildly in an unclear direction right now, and I hate it.

All that build up of my life til this point and this is what I end up as.

A tense, anxiety ridden mess, reacting to things rather than proactively planning a course of action

Though now I think about it…

I guess that is the feeling that a cockroach gets when I suddenly switch on a light!

So much change has happened, but no time to plan.

In that instant, just one action comes to mind…

SCAMPER!


Thanks for taking the time to read my semi-rant 😛

Rebecca

Advertisements

A New Year – A New Set of Goals!

It is 2017 and Chinese New Year is coming up so it will be a new year in two calendars!

So  I felt that it would be nice to post a few goals and things that I hope will happen during this year, some goals or any other random bits and bobs that I want to get down on paper (? website? whatever) before uni life swings into full gear with tutorials, classes, mid terms oh my! 😛

For some context, I’m typing this sitting on a sofa in the learning commons of my university, listening to a documentary ( Lucy Worsely’s ” A Very British Romance – Episode 3″) Nerdy I know but hey documentaries are cool and zone me in to writing, don’t judge!)  Today is the start of CNY holiday so no afternoon classes right now, which is why I’m free to type this.

That is a lot of rambling for something that people won’t really read so I’m not sure why I am doing it. Oh well, good writing and typing practice I guess?

So goals (they will probably be posted in a new page on my website since ain’t nobody got time to skim through this).

If you are skimming future me or other people, skip here:

Academic

  • Gain CGPA of 3.2 at a minimum (stretch goal of 3.5) – Yes that means getting an B+ average for the first or A average for the second this semester, but that is what happens when you (by that I mean past me) slack off on revision in the first Semester 😛
  • Work on German – Making this a goal since for the longest time I have started languages, then given up on them less than a year and a half later. Hopefully this time German will be the language that sticks with me (In this catagory, I mean thing like class, duolingo, listening etc)
  • Read a book a week on average by the end of the year – Both nonfiction and fiction, in class work as well as outside of class all count since I am not crazy or an English major lol
  • Write more outside of class work – I do realize this is very vague without a qualifier, but it is hard come up with a criteria other than word count which won’t work since I hand write a lot and it seems like a very arbitrary thing but this includes things like the History website, pen pal letters, blogs etc.

Welfare

  • Run that 10k! – Self explanatory really, but just exercise and run more in general. Be healthier because it will be easier now then procrastinating on this til later
  • Eat out less and cook more – This is both to save money (since I am spending way too much on uni campus food) as well as learning cooking skills since that is something that I really should learn during university
  • Sleep right –   aka limit all nighters since I have a ton of mandatory early morning science classes and lectures.

Career/Business

  • History website – Yup. ‘Nuff said.
  • Exchange planning – This is sort of related to the academic goals, but since it is less current year academic related and more of future plans, its going here
  • Volunteer more – I barely did any volunteering in the first semester. Change that.
  • Renew First Aid Certification – its 2017, meaning it expires next year. Get it renewed early since next summer, I’ll be busy with second year exchange prep craziness.

Other Fun Stuff

  • Learn OLL Rubik’s cube – Yes this is a bit less important than the other ones but I have been procrastinating on this one for several years
  • Coding/Wordpress practice – This could go into the career/buisness section as well but since that bit has a lot already, putting it here

Well,  that’s all for now!

-Rebecca